Meredith Monroe

Dear Meredith,

I just wanted to write and let you know that I can really empathize with you. There really is an increase in the difficulty of concentration in New York. It's crazy! I didn't heed the warnings or listen to the advice of the elder New York ex-patriots distraught and bedazzled by their inability to concentrate in New York. When I was living in Philadelphia a man said to me, "Be wary of the Rotten Apple (as he called it), for evil lurks behind every turn. I was once able to balance three "Lawn Jockeys" on my nose. That, my friend, was until that faithful eve, in the robust month of May, 1973. I parachuted in, jockeys in tow, and was prepared to dazzle the world with my skills. I shined my shoes and emptied my wallet for I knew that this specialized and remarkably unique talent would net large profits and land me some beautiful women. But NO! I can't concentrate in that god forsaken town."

He went on to tell me about the dismay, heartbreak and hardship that followed him that entire weekend until he was forced to leave. Albeit an amicable breakup, the mighty beast of a woman, New York City, distracted this poor man until he couldn't even concentrate long enough to blink. It's a shame really, because I've never seen "Lawn Jockey Balancing" before and I guess neither you, Meredith, nor I shall ever see it again.

I am sure that your play covers the ills incurred when the common man does extraordinary things. I listened to his advice, but I boldly went where so many others have gone and what did I find? A whole lot of goddamn people is what I found. Concentration, not a chance. The fact of the matter Meredith is there really isn't a need to concentrate in New York. I haven't done it once and I am thinking about giving it up for good. Who needs it? I don't! I mean of course there are residual effects of going concentrationless. I am frequently locked out, often at the wrong place and my bathroom floor is a mess, however, I save a lot of time during the day in which I used to waste by concentrating. Last Thursday I put in a full days work, ate 5 times, hit the gym, read a book, clipped my toenails, slept 12 hours and changed the carburetor on my lawn mower all because I cut out concentrating. (However, I got fired, I chipped some teeth, I have a paper cut, I have 9 toes left, I'm exhausted and I don't have a lawn.)

I will tell you your play has been a godsend, a real life oasis in the concrete desert. You, Meredith, were the bridge that brought me there. Thank you for showing me the light. Down with concentration. I reiterate, down with concentration.

Motionlessly yours,

Orpheous Roy

http://www.monroe-meredith.com