That Day

I have opened up the new mail slot on the television that I type on and I am going to congregate the cells adjacent to my cornea in order to commemorate that fine day in history. Do you remember? Do you remember when? We like to call that day, "That Day". "That Day was such a great day" is the name of the salute given to "That Day" on that fine day. The "That Day was such a great day" salute was coined on the day directly after "That Day," now known as "The Post That Day day." In case you are wondering, the "The Post That Day" day does not have a salute since we felt it didn't live up to the greatness of "That Day,” nor would the "The Post That Day Day Salute" even come close in comparison to the "That Day was such a great day salute."

I guess you know that we have been commemorating "That Day" ever since that day. Many years have gone by and I know you can't possibly forget the "First Annual That Day Commemoration", which now has a salute called "The Commemoration Salute of the First Commemoration." That day, (The First Annual That Day Commemoration) was such a great day that we almost dropped the "That Day" commemoration and the "That Day was such a great day" salute, but we decided to keep them and just double up on the commemorating. So really, our "That Day" commemoration is a commemoration of "That Day" and a commemoration of "The First Annual That Day commemoration." Conversely, the "First Annual That Day Commemoration" commemoration is also a day of commemorating "That Day." We do both the "That Day was Such a Great Day" and the "The Commemoration Salute of the First Commemoration" salutes. We love them.

The anticipation for this years "That Day" and the "First Annual That Day Commemoration" commemoration was so large that the celebration started on the eve of the "That Day" and the "First Annual That Day Commemoration" days. We filled our gullets and packed our pudding with such regalia and fervor that we have decided to honor the "Eve of That Day and the First Annual That Day Commemoration" as an official holiday. There will be no salute.

So have a great time at the "That Day" and the "First Annual That Day Commemoration" commemorations. Give a hearty shout when doing the "That Day was such a Great Day" and the "Commemoration Salute of the First Commemoration" salutes. Enjoy the celebration of the "Eve of That Day and the First Annual That Day Commemoration" holiday and embrace the reflection of the "Post That Day" day (which technically is also the Post First Annual That Day Commemoration day). In case you forgot there isn't a "Post That Day Day" salute.

Thank you for your time

Conway Twitty
Mayor of this God forsaken Place