Heather Pariso

Dear Heather,

When I came across your website, I just had to write in and say "Va-Va-Va-Va Voom!" Way to go on the good looks! Anyway, other than that not much is new with me. I'm just sitting here pondering the meaning of life, love, the good, the bad, the ugly, jimmies vs. sprinkles, Je ne sais quois and time travel. I'm pondering a new and more efficient design for my Rolodex. I'm thinking about fiscal calamities and provincial territories. I'm thinking of kings, queens, princes and paupers alike. I'm wondering why, I'm wondering how, and you damn well know I'm wondering huh. I was wondering if fish didn't have scales, would they still be able to "do that dance, da da do that dance." I was wondering if people were actually tiny dinosaurs or large ants. I was contemplating the inverse relationship between reduced interest rates and increased global temperature. I was wondering if gravity was called buoyancy, would we bounce when we walked. I was thinking about all of the bridges I've burned, those few bridges that I've burned and then bombed and that one bridge that I dismantled piece by piece, chopped into toothpick size pieces, doused in acid, loaded into a rocket and sent into space. I was thinking that I need a new walk, mine is slightly outdated. I was thinking that if blood was ink, then we could write with our fingers. I was thinking that food is good food. I was wondering if Q and U were gay. I was wondering why dictionaries come in different sizes. Shouldn't there be one standard issue dictionary? I was thinking of how arrogant the word government is. "Yeah, not only are we bossing you around, but we're making no bones about it!" I was wondering why there is a magazine about the advertising industry and I was wondering who is advertising in it. I was philosophizing on the art of relaxation. My philosophy is "Breath in, breath out." I was wondering whether liquorice was just low grade plastic. I was wondering why we compare apples to apples and oranges to oranges. It seems pointless to me. I was trying to fool myself into believing that I was not here. I was also trying to fool myself into believing I was a 6'5" black woman with a weave. I was wondering if they can read palms, then why can't they read bottoms of feet. I was wondering if using the word "hither" makes me sound intelligent. I was listening to myself listen to myself. I was also watching myself out of the corner of my eye. I was wondering what the consequences of whiting out the word delete would be. I was wishing that my knee joints were of the ball and socket variety. My front kicks would be devastating. I was practicing the art of spontaneity. I was trying to decide if Orpheous Roy was a name I made up in my head or if he is a real person. I was penning my name and naming my pen, Ron. And most of all I was assuming my assumptions.

Well, Heather, have a nice day. Congratulations on the good looks.

Orpheous Roy

http://www.all-heather.com/