Leah Remini

Dear Leah,

I just figured that I would write and say I really don't have much to say. I'm just trying to kill a few moments at work. I guess I could tell you that we do have one thing in common and that is I also took ballet and tap when I was young. Well, took really isn't the correct word, I should say was forced to partake. The tap dancing was okay because at least there were some boys in the class, but the ballet was too much.

Anyway, that is where I met my first girlfriend, Heather Catwilder. Needless to say that relationship didn't work out (you know how fickle 6 year olds are). So it comes down to recital night, a night that I had been dreading for every waking moment of the six months leading up to it. Well, even though I didn't want to do it, I fired myself up and was determined to be the best damn ballerina in the company. (I think they call it that). So when it was our turn to go, I ambled over to my designated spot on stage and what did I find? Heather Catwilder was standing in my spot. Well, I told her, "Hey you're in my spot," to which she replied, "No, I'm not." This went on for about 2 minutes until I started hearing chuckles form the audience. I tried to give her a little push (a gentle nudge into her spot) but she wasn't having any of it and she pushed me back. Needless to say the audience was enjoying this way too much for me to be comfortable, so I backed down and went over to Heather's spot. As if you couldn't guess from that moment on I was completely out of whack, discombobulated if you will. It is all really a blur from then on in, but I do remember the quintessential moment of the evening. That was when I went backstage and found my mom. "We have to talk," I stated huffily as I dragged her off to the side. "This is the last ballet show I ever do!" And it was. Strictly sports from then on in. Although, I do think that I am so light on my feet because of ballet. I also think the reason that I can really "cut up the rug" is because I learned early on the mind set it takes to be a dancer. The concentration, the focus and the determination were instilled upon me, in those, my early years and it has translated into many spectacular moves on the club scene ever since. I don't hit the clubs all that often but when I do, Forget About It!, the floor gets singed.

Also there is another lesson to be learned from this situation. You women are nuts! Get an idea in your head and it is over. I don't think I have ever been the same. Heather Catwilder was just too much woman for me. I thought I knew what I was getting into with her, but boy was I wrong. She threw off my entire learning curve. I'm twenty-five and I'm just starting to make some ground figuring you women out. I'm sure you're guilty of confusing plenty of men along the way.

Leah, could ya just take it easy on us?

Thanks,

Orpheous Roy

www.leahremini.net/