Stephanie Cameron

Dear Stephanie Cameron,

Well I just wanted to write in and say congratulations on the good looks. Good job! Anyway, I really don't have much to say at this momentito in time. That usually isn't the greatest way to start a letter, with nothing to say, but hey I'm ostensibly cavalier so I'm giving it a shot. Actually Stephanie, if you must know, saying nothing at all in as many words as possible is a god given talent. Other god given talents that I possess are:

1. I can make my eye squeak
2. I can make my chest crack, and
3. I can breathe underwater

I think that gracefully saying nothing over several paragraphs is an art form not to dissimilar to minimalism. Imagine a book that keeps you on the edge of your seat from cover to cover. As you read you sink deeper and deeper into the nether world of vague opinionism, gathering more information than your brain can handle, waiting for the ever illusive link that is and has been missing from the entire story. The link that neatly fits like a puzzle piece, a binding tie there to serve you, the reader, as a bridge to connect the unconnected. Reading further your thirst for a conclusion, an understanding, a meaning, grows furious. Finally!, you have reached the final page and to find what, nothing. It hasn't said a damn thing, but it kept you reading. Now that is art.

I would write a book like that but I have realized that the optimum length for my writing style is no more that one typed page. I just don't have the stamina to push on, to see the obstacle and conquer it. My flow will be precise, strongly mowing down the opposition for 52 lines. As I cross into the uncharted territory of line 53 the vision comes toppling down and I am disillusioned once again.

So as I near my maximum thought expression capacity, I am going to bring this letter to a close. I guess you can view this as the demented and useless offspring of an existential philosophy. Anyway, with absolutely nothing being said, I want to, once again, say "kudos" on the good looks and keep up the good work.

Meaninglessly yours,

Orpheous Roy

http://www.geocities.com/Hollywood/Academy/3851/